If there’s something you’d enjoy saying or hearing out loud in bed, there’s a decent chance it would work whether typed or read on your phone.
That being said, if you’re not sure how to proceed, and you and your partner don’t have a lot of dirty talk history for you to draw on, House offers the following list of sexts for you to try out:
‘Can you imagine my tongue deep inside you? Close your eyes. Imagine me licking you. Now tell me that you love feeling my mouth cleveland sugar daddy all over your pussy.’
If you’re not sure how comfortable your partner is with specific terms (some people would prefer not to be called a slut, while others may consider it a real turn-on), you can modify the language. The following examples allow you to play around with how intense you’re getting while still carrying a sexy vibe.
4. Keeping It Going
As a guy, you might be used to feeling in control in sexual situations, and sexting can seem scary if you’re not used to it. The first thing you should know is that it’s OK not to feel 100 percent confident and in control at every moment.
Sexting, something that occurs within a text message conversation, can be just that. There can be a back-and-forth dynamic to it where each participant takes the lead at different moments that allows the other person to sit back and appreciate what’s happening. .
“Breaks can be sexy, as they build anticipation, and research suggests that dopamine levels are higher when you build anticipation with unpredictability (dopamine is associated with pleasure, motivation and reward),” notes Dr. Jess. “Don’t feel the need to respond right away. If you have to run, you can always let them know that you’ll be back:
In fact, if the sexting is going well, you might want to take little breaks here and there to masturbate (assuming you’re in a place where you can). You can address that by saying something like,
“Sorry I disappeared for a moment there… I got carried away thinking about how bad I want to f-k you.”
Something to keep in mind is what to do if your partner sends you something that’s more of a turn-off than a turn-on. Luckily, there’s an easy solution for that: Rather than flat out saying, “Whoa, I’m not into that,” try to redirect the conversation.
“If your partner is leading you down a path that you don’t find appealing, simply let them know with a ‘But I’d rather __________’ message,” says Dr. Jess.
“If you’re not sure what to say next, just talk about what you like,” she advises. “Rather than focusing in on turning your partner on, refocus on your own desires and fantasies, as the more genuine you are, the more responsive they’ll likely be.”
5. How to Handle Pictures
“If the first pic you send is a hot shot of your entire body or genitals, you leave no space for build-up and anticipation. “Move gradually and make sexting about teasing, so that the grand finale is even hotter.” says Dr. Jess.
Of course, making sure those pics are sexy to begin with starts with what else is in the shot. Don’t make the classic mistake of focusing on your body with no attention to composition.
“If you’re taking pics in your bedroom, at least feign good hygiene by hiding the mess in the background,” she adds. “Nobody looks hot in front of dirty socks strewn about the room,” Dr. Jess adds.
Even if you’re not staging the shoot in your bedroom, keeping clutter, mess, or distinctly unsexy or humorous things out of the frame is a pretty good rule of thumb. Anything that could distract from your sexy body could ruin the experience for the receiver.